| Every window in a building |
[29 Dec 2009|10:36pm] |
A friend's parent died last week. As close as we had been before, she chose to inform us only now. Words fail me and emotions overwhelm me. It struck me that my age has a correlation with things happening all around, the older I am, the more I experience. When I think of older people, I now think in terms of the things they had experienced, the deaths they have to deal with.
Despite things moving on, happening, there is always a standstill. Sometimes I'd sit and stare into space. For every moment a decision is made, there is another moment where consequences are assessed. I've made many foolish ones. I doubt I can ever stop making these decisions, out of fear mostly.
Sometimes I think that life is a joke, that people who made hard decisions are not real. If only it were so. The scale of events, from the personal to the world stage, they make me unsure of my own place. Maybe the purpose of life is to look for one's place in this chaos.
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